People close to me know that I’m an OCD ‘carer’. E dey inside my ‘personal DNA like that🤣. I remember ‘Kid’ (Big sis) would tease me prior to getting married that I dated ‘projects’ (those I could ‘fix’/help whatever🙄). That used to upset me, but because we had small respect for elders back then (meaning we could only gossip/diss them behind their backs😁), I couldn’t let her know I didn’t find the teasing funny. However, when I met my hubby, her teasing helped me put the brakes on trying to ‘fix’ him (at least not as much as I would otherwise have done anyway🙄).
Why am i talking about stuff that occurred since the 90s right? I was recently told I suffered from anxiety disorder and for the life of me, i couldn’t recollect any traumatic event that could have led to my pulse shooting through the roof.
However, when I got back home, I realized it could be from an ‘incident’ that occurred 2 years ago. However, due to the fact that I was ‘only’ the ‘carer’ and not the person that experienced the trauma, I totally forgot that carers could also be traumatized (the cardinal rule doesn’t work with loved ones since family/friends ‘carers’ are already emotionally invested).
Imagine having PTSD from someone else’s trauma, that’s like having headaches for someone else’s fever nah!
Why do I feel the need to cry out about this? There are lots of family/friends ‘carers’, who could be professionally trained or not. (In my opinion, non-professional family/friends carers put more effort into the day to day care and their overall usefulness is immeasurable).
These group of ‘carers’ don’t feel the need to ‘ventilate’ or talk about their experiences with others, which could result in them developing PTSD.
This brings me to the stigma ‘our pipo’ (Nigerians) attach to individuals in need of professional help. It is not everyone that ‘sees’  therapists that are ‘kolo’ (mentally challenged). Stress of life, work and other stuffs in most cases need to be ‘ventilated’. if this is not done, it could lead to mental health related issues. This in turn might require professional assistance.
So let’s stop judging and putting unnecessary societal pressure on people, so that they are able to reach out for help without fear of discrimination and stigmatization.
If you cared for someone, you know it’s effect is being negatively ‘felt’ by you after the ‘incident’ and you will like to discuss with someone anonymously, reach out to me on 09012147195. Talk it over with  family and loved ones please!
‘Emi o laaro’ (Life has no duplicate).

Save a life!
Stop stigmatization!
Stop judgements!
Stop bullying!
Stop hazing!

Share this post

Comments (11)

  • Kemi Reply

    On point my darling sister on point!
    We need to vent when going through stuff and we all know that being Naija is synonymous with going through all sorts.
    Great initiative to have a “talk line”
    You make me very proud.

    October 20, 2021 at 6:15 pm
    • Titi Olajide Cole Reply

      Ese ma, really appreciate you.

      October 20, 2021 at 6:39 pm
  • JD Reply

    Well done ma. We need this kind of discussions to be had in the Nigerian society because as Nigerians we always feel we are just meant to live the experience and move on: we pride ourselves as tough people (and we are) but I know also that there are a lot of people suffering and don’t know how to go about it. I hope your platform will further encourage more people to step up, share experiences and seek help where needed. Keep up the good work!

    October 20, 2021 at 6:22 pm
    • Titi Olajide Cole Reply

      Don’t mind us nijarians. Our ‘toughness’ na for face mostly, liver no too dey.

      October 20, 2021 at 6:41 pm
      • Kolade Titilayo Reply

        Wao!Oro le so.O deep gan.Thanks for this piece Ore.

        October 20, 2021 at 9:47 pm

          This is On Point. A lovely piece. I must commend you my sister.
          This is very deep.
          We need to speak out and express ourselves.
          The more we close up and act like I am strong, I can do it,; the more we add poison to out body systems.
          Closing up is extremely dangerous.
          Thank you for this beautiful piece.

          October 21, 2021 at 12:27 am
  • Peter Adewuyi Reply

    Lovely piece Titi, this is good encouragement for Pastors, doctors and carers.
    I am blessed

    October 20, 2021 at 6:48 pm
  • Uzoamaka anthonia Ihenacho Reply

    Great write up titi,I always tell friends and even family around me that venting doesn’t mean you are complaining it’s just a way to de-stress,but then again we have to be mindful of who we vent to,cause that one sef fit add to d issues 🤣

    October 21, 2021 at 11:23 am
  • hair care Reply

    What’s up mates, fastidious paragraph and pleasant urging commented at this place, I am actually enjoying by these.

    March 5, 2023 at 9:36 pm
  • Order Glimepiride online without a prescription for cheap Reply

    No prescription? No problem. Get your insulin online, risk-free Where can I buy affordable
    diabetes medication online without a prescription?
    Cheap alternative diabetes drugs online without prescription Where to buy cheap diabetes drugs online without
    a prescription?

    March 25, 2023 at 4:04 am

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *