2020 in PerspectiveTiti Olajide Cole
I recently came across Blake Shelton’s post about loss and on sunday, I read about one of Tyler Perry’s co-workers who just died.
Looking back over the year, it started with so much promise and excitement, but then the unexpected happened. Covid 19 happened. However, prior to the covid outbreak/lockdown, there were deaths and losses of many ramifications. It’s a year I would always remember with mixed feelings. Highlights of the year for me are:
It’s the year I lost my niece, sweet soul that she was, gone to be with the Lord. So many plans made for her, but none actualized.
It’s the year I finally got closure, 12 years after losing my daughter.
It’s the year my relationship with a very dear friend was re-evaluated (although I still wonder if I made the right call).
It’s the year I lost my mentor, my ‘sounding board’ and a father figure.
It’s a year I finally decided to try again after losing so much money and reputation when I went into a business years back.
It’s the first year I didn’t remember the date of my daughter’s death until it was past.
It’s a year I lost a dear brother whom I feel so guilty not keeping in touch with often that i felt so guilty that I couldn’t pen a tribute.
It’s a year of triumphs and losses, but in all something keeps ringing at the ‘back of my mind’.
Back in June, mummy called after the loss of my niece and I was struggling emotionally. It felt like I just lost my daughter all over. The pain was so fresh, fresher than when she died and I couldn’t understand why it just wouldn’t go away. (When people say that time heal all wounds, I look at them like they don’t know what real loss is, if they knew they wouldn’t spurt such ‘nonsense’). Mummy said ‘Ka sha ma a dupe’, translated ‘let’s keep thanking God’. I felt like ‘what the hell? and I told her no way was I thanking God for what went down. She kept calling me to ‘reason’ with me that no matter the curveball life throws at us, ‘Olorun ma a n fi aye ope sile’, (translated: God leaves an avenue for praise). For the first time that I could remembered, I argued with her and insisted there was nothing to thank God for in my pain. However, I was proved wrong the same month when my blogsite was ‘birthed’.
So, my conclusion about the year is that in spite of the heartache and losses associated with the year, it’s a year of more triumphs than ever before. Which brings me back to mummy’s saying that there is always an avenue to praise and thank God, irrespective of where we are and what’s going on in our lives at the moment.
To everyone I lost this year, i say adieu.
I pray that year 2021 will find us in perfect health of body, soul and spirit, Amen.
Guys, please let’s keep safe, mask on, social distance, sanitize and most importantly practice heat inhalation at least once in a week (thick towel over the head while a bowl of boiled water is placed beneath).
Have a joyous 2021.