We all got scars. Different, but scars all the same. Loss is evidenced by these scars. Though unseen, still there all the same. Loss of a loved one; a promising relationship; an ideal marriage; a career to die for (like a friend like to say); something or someone precious. The scar is there whether we admit it or not. The question that arises then is this: What do I do with my scars?
I did a study on refining of natural resources recently. I read that the process of refinement involves a natural resource that’s ‘almost’ in a usable form, but is more useful in it’s pure form (Wikipedia). An example is the natural petroleum, which burns poorly and clogs machines with residue, eventually spoiling them. However, during refinement, it passes through fractional distillation. This basically means boiling the petroleum in super high heat (ever felt like being through fire?) and condensation, which means cooling it down. During this study, I came across a startling fact: DISTILLATION IS A PHYSICAL SEPARATION PROCESS NOT A CHEMICAL REACTION. Just as it is with human loss, the separation is physical more times than not. You feel the loss with the senses: the sound of the voice; the imprinted picture of the face; the touch; the fragrance; the feel.
Another form of refinement is called extraction. This process uses a ‘solvent’ to dissolve either a ‘substance of interest or unwanted impurities. Your substance of interest could be the loss you are consumed with and this needs to be dealt with. Your ‘solvent ‘ however is different from others’. This is where I disagree with the school of thought that believes in ‘formulas for overcoming loss’. As individual cases differ, so do the process of recovery.
This post is about being strong in, through and because of the loss. Somehow it is difficult to comprehend that things that tears you apart and are so hurtful they become psychosomatic could somehow be central to the fulfilment of your potential. The journey through the pain of loss could actually be the portal through which you become aware of strengths previously unaware of.
The version of you that comes out stronger through loss is the right version of you for the moment. It’s the version God would work with to bring about the priceless gem that is YOU!

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Comments (2)


    This is truly inspiring and exactly on point Scars are very painful but like the process of making silver includes fire purging dross to reveal the refined product, these ugly cars whatever they may be could be the process to reveal the best version of ourselves

    July 26, 2020 at 9:28 pm
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